If we didn’t post soon, it would have been too late to use the future tense — in a little over a month, we *will be* three. Yep, by the end of September, we can say that we *are* three — with Baby Boy Schultz planned to make his arrival on the 22nd. He has impeccable timing — right in the middle of Oktoberfest, and I’ve been looking for teeny tiny lederhosen and a miniature beer stein with which to welcome him into the world. (So for all those who have been wondering what we’ve been up to since we moved… uh, mostly this.)

We’ve taken a few photos — but most of them are trapped on my digital camera, since I seem to have lost the device which allows one to release them — so we snapped some “interim” ones on the trusty iPhone to tide you over until I can learn to be more responsible with my things (hopefully, I will learn to do so within the next five weeks). There wasn’t much to look at before, really — I didn’t “pop” until a couple of months ago, and I’m still relatively small for my gestational age… but, I can no longer pretend that I just ate too many doughnuts for breakfast (if for no other reason than there aren’t really any doughnuts here).

In our gallery, you’ll see the clinic where I’ll deliver. As you can see, the face of socialized medicine includes manicured grounds, bubbling fountains, balconies off of private rooms and excellent food and care. I believe they have the Death Panels after Pilates class.

We’re almost done decorating the baby’s room — although I imagine there are still more trips to IKEA in our future. We’re particularly proud of our changing table and crib — both re-engineered by Patrick to make them bigger, faster and stronger than they were before. The changing table is actually three Billy bookcases put together — two small ones in front, and a tall one in back: it’s the perfect width for a changing mat, and the perfect height for us to do the dirty deeds without having to bend down. And, the best part, is that it magically turns back into shelves when the time comes.

Now let me draw your attention to the crib — you’ll notice that one wall is missing, but that a “foot” is supporting the middle. The foot is a new addition, designed by Patrick to give the crib stability when we place it next to our bed with the open space facing me. No need to get out of bed for feedings during the first few months. Genius! (The missing wall will attach once we move the crib out of our bedroom.)

We’ll post more updates and photos as soon as I can spring them from my camera (hopefully, in a couple of weeks). It’s getting real now — before, I was just stretching out my pants, but now, with the baby actively trying to escape (seriously, you can see the outline of feet pushing on my left side. Yes, it’s exactly like Alien) we’re beginning to realize that, shit, we’re going to be parents.

I assume we won’t leave him in a hotel, like I did with my camera charger.